My Childhood

Posted: Fri. 8-24-2012
Written: 9:54p.m. Fri. 8-24-2012

Comment: This starts out as me seeing those who the other kids picked on, the handicapped, the ugly, the poor and whatnot as precious, and worthy to be called my friends. Which is why I put the little ( )'s on there, even though it doesn't go with the poem. It's so people won't be as terribly lost. X-P!

I never had a chance down here, and was raised in a very “Northern Minded” family. Meaning I believed in EQUALITY for ALL people, and thought prejudice, bigotry and all that was dead and gone. Something from another era and age.

I was taught otherwise “INSTANTLY”.

Terribly I did not catch on.

I was puzzling about an incident in my past,

In 5th grade the whole of the 5th grade class, all the girls tromped into the bathroom and told me to kill myself. They straight out said I should commit suicide.
I thought, that day, “Well that's silly. Why would they say that? It makes no sense.”
(I didn't even know what suicide was and had to go home and ask my Mom what it was. She FREAK OUT, and got so damn upset. She literally SCREAMED.
Lotta help mom. :-/!)
…
Well, years passed and soon their words, when I was a teen sunk in.
DEEP.
(I still struggle to this day now to NOT end it all. I know that part of it is clearly this incident. ... "Plant the seed and it shall grow." as they say. !!!!!!!)

 I finally had to take a good long hard look at myself, and my life, in my teens.
The down hill direction it was going in.
No matter how hard I fought to learn and tried to be good I was always picked on. And no teacher was would teach me.

(Sadly I needed a LOT of help. I am the kind that NEEDED CONSTANT Tutoring. !!!!! Which was NOT available to us when me moved down south here. !!!!!!)
Then the teachers would come along and blame ME for being beaten up.
…
Next the school got my parents in on it. They told me and my own parents I was EVIL, and before long my own Dad was harassing me (the strongest word I know of. It was FAR WORSE then that) and beating me up for being "EVIL".
…
it gets worse.

…
Well, anyway *wipes … Inhale LONG!
Exhale LONG!*

Well, not much else to say.
I do want to say though this Anti-bullying thing, it has been a light of salvation in my quite terrible current life.
How DEARLY I WISH I could be able to escape even my Current Circumstances.
…
Either way it is kinda helping, and now giving me a voice where I have not had one my whole life.

PLEASE SUPPORT ANTI-BULLYING things, and try and make sure the ones who are doing the bullying are STOPPED.
ADULTS, KIDS, AND ALL. (Really, adults should NOT be bullying a KID of all things. Like they did to me.
THIS was beyond my mind when I was young. And it just BLASPHEMOUS in my mind now. >X-[]!!!!!!!)

It might just save another life like me.

Thank you.


P.S. -- Now after writing and re-reading all this, I realize what and absolute F**Kin' MIRACLE it is that I'm even ALIVE today.
Absolute MIRACLE.
:-/!